John Dies At The End


Date Watched: 11/14/13

Starring; John, Paul Giamatti


A new street drug that sends its users across time and dimensions has one drawback: some people return as no longer human. Can two college dropouts save humankind from this silent, otherworldly invasion?


  • Something transforms
  • “Marconi”
  • Time travel crap
  • Gets a call from John
  • “Soy Sauce”


  • <Door handle turns into a penis> “That door cannot be opened!”
  • “You’ve got my attention, Mr. Wong.”
  • “My hat smells like lubricant!  Camel…Holocaust.” <song>
  • “My uncle lost his foot in his riding mower, says he could still feel it.  What’s that called?  Fantasy leg situation, something like that?”
  • “You’ve obviously been blessed with supernatural gifts, and what better way to use them than to fish for free beer at high school parties?”
  • “Are you familiar with the saying I want to shoot you so bad my dick’s hard?”
  • “When you hear a song on the radio, where is the song?”
  • “Are we going to the mall, or coming back from it?” –  “Going to” –  “That’s right, cause Fred’s still alive.” –  “What?!”

Viewer Quotes

  • “He’s got a turkey head!”  “This is pretty awesome!”
  • “If a mustache is a drink, this is the most ridiculous drink ever!”

What We Learned

  • People with supernatural powers use them to fish for free beer at high school parties.
  • Hell creatures can only be seen out of the corner of your eye or when you’re drunk or stoned.

Final Take

Weird.  Pretty damn weird.  But I really liked it.  It was enjoyable from beginning to end.  The main characters did a good job and were pretty likable.  Don’t expect a lot of it to make sense, and don’t expect to like it enough to watch it again until it does.  I may watch it again some time, though.  That is rarely the case, and that says a lot.

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November 2013

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