Bad Movie Thursday

Viewing Date: 4/30/2026

Starring: Michael DudikoffSteve JamesLarry Poindexter

Plot: On a remote Caribbean island, Army Ranger Joe Armstrong investigates the disappearance of several marines, which leads him to The Lion, a super-criminal who has kidnapped a local scientist and mass-produced an army of mutant Ninja warriors.

Rules

• 80’s signature brands/product placement
• Absurd ninja skills (e.g. catching an arrow)
• Short shorts
• The Blind Beggar
• Kicks to the face
• “Armstrong”

Quotes

• “Ninjas my ass!”
• “And you, don’t get drunk and go puking on the pavement.”
• “You want to be a big man you gotta learn how to eat, baby!”
• “It’s that damn American Ninja. He fights like a tiger!”
• “Catch that little weasel!”

Viewer Quotes

• “These guys are as South African as you can possibly be.”
• “Do the marines become the ninjas, or are they somehow involved in just creating the ninjas?”
• “Their guns are so smoky.”

What We Learned

• A cancer drug can also be used to create Super Ninjas.
• Ninjas can throw arrows harder than they can be shot from a bow.

Final Take

Well, that was really hard to follow. There was a lot of ninja action but I never really understood why any of it was happening. It was enough to know that ninjas were attacking him for some reason at various points and he would of course have to kill them all. I can say with absolutely certainty that I will not remember this movie in the future. It was fine and enjoyable to laugh and drink to in the moment, but don’t expect much.