Archive for October, 2025

17
Oct
25

Chopping Mall

Viewing Date: 10/16/2025

Starring: Murderbots, Kelli Maroney

Plot: A group of young shopping mall employees stay behind for a late night party in one of the stores. When the mall goes on lock-down before they can get out, the robot security system malfunctions, and goes on a killing spree. (IMDB)

Rules

  • Quintessential 80’s stuff
  • Smoking (Advanced rule! Everyone smokes in the 80’s)
  • T & A
  • Product Placement
  • Robot opens their robot hatch
  • “Thank you, have a nice day.”
  • Glass shattering.

Quotes

  • “They remind me of your mother. It’s the laser eyes.”
  • “Let’s go send those fuckers a Rambo-gram.”
  • “I guess I’m just not used to being chased around the mall in the middle of the night by killer robots.”

Viewer Quotes

  • “This movie’s pretty good.” – “Yeah, not bad.”
  • “Why don’t they just run up the stairs?”
  • “Why is this robot so inaccurate with its laser beam shots?”
  • “That’s why he brought the propane cannister.”
  • “With it being called Chopping Mall, shouldn’t there be more blades?”

What We Learned

  • Robot’s have different colored lasers.
  • Malls in the 80’s had entire rooms piled high with metal junk, like the trash compactor in Star Wars.

Final Take

This was a surprisingly good Bad Movie Thursday choice. I’d never even heard of it before, and it was definitely on the shorter side, but it held its own throughout. For those of us Gen X children of the 80’s, seeing all the mall shots brought a serious nostalgia wave. On top of that there was classic 80’s era T&A, ridiculous practical horror effects, and stupid robots. This was definitely worth a watch.

02
Oct
25

Shiver Me Timbers (2025)

Viewing Date: Oct 2, 2025

Starring: Amy Mackie, Brendan Nelson, Tony Greer, yeah, no one you would recognize.

Plot: In 1986 Northern California, Olive Oyl, her brother Castor and friends, go on a camping trip to see the meteor shower with Halley’s comet. But the night turns into horror as a meteor transforms Popeye, into a unstoppable killing machine. (via IMDB)

Rules

  • Popeye cliches (spinach, pipe, etc) (this sadly doesn’t really pay off)
  • Continuity errors
  • Night sky / meteors
  • Kids doin’ drugs
  • 80’s movie quotes and references

Quotes

  • “Someone killed Steve! They ripped off his head… and shit down his neck!”
  • “Here’s to your Willy Peter!”

What We Learned

  • There is a connection between Popeye and Halley’s Comet for some reason.
  • Don’t smoke meteorite rocks.
  • Indiscriminate meteorites are just as deadly as a psychopathic killer
  • You can use a meteorite to power a giant saw blade attached to your arm.

Final Take

Since Popeye recently entered the ‘public domain’ (anyone can freely use the character without copyright or trademark infringement), this is one of many horror movies released this year trying to capitalize on it. The issue I have with it is that it seems like the whole Popeye element seems to be shoehorned into an already existing idea / script about how the appearance of Haley’s Comet in the 80’s somehow resulted in horrific consequences. One of those consequences just happened to be transforming a sailor into a murderous freak with super strength, and the main heroine is named Olive Oyl. In the end, the Popeye element really wasn’t used to full potential and wasn’t even really necessary- but I suppose we wouldn’t have selected this movie otherwise. There were some ridiculous kills, and some funny scenes and dialogue, but the Popeye monster should have been more fun and leaned into some of the expected tropes associated with the classic character.

Here’s hoping the other exploitative Popeye movies are more entertaining.




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