Rambo: Last Blood


Date Watched: 5/7/2020

Starring: The shambling corpse of Sylvester Stallone, Trump’s border wall

Plot: Rambo must confront his past and unearth his ruthless combat skills to exact revenge in a final mission.


  • References to the war
  • Flashbacks
  • Stabbings
  • Gratuitous violence
  • Cartel people dying in traps


  • “You’re going to take me to that club.  You’re going to show me who she was with.  Or I’m going to hurt you real bad.”

Viewer Quotes

  • “That’s his killin’ machete right there.  That’s redundant.  All of his stuff is for killing…”
  • “Do you think that’s an artificial hairline?  That looks artificial.”
  • “There’s been no quotes from this movie for me to write down.  This movie is not quotable.”
  • “Being lured is the only way anyone ever ends up in Arizona.”
  • “I think the initial knife to the neck probably did it.”

Things We Learned

  • Don’t go to the clubs in Mexico.
  • Never pick a fight with someone that makes their own arrows.
  • The best way to defeat the Mexican Cartel is to lure them to your home in Arizona.
  • Rambo doesn’t have too many lessons to teach.

Final Take: You could pretty much skip the first hour and ten minutes of this movie and still get all the enjoyment you would hope to out of it.  There was way too much plot setup in the beginning.  Yes, we get that his “daughter” was tortured and killed, we don’t need to know any more about why he wants to kill all these guys.  Just get to the killing.  Luckily the last 30 minutes saves the whole thing.  I could watch that last stretch 2 or 3 more times, at least.  It’s worth it just for that.

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May 2020

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