Bad Movie Thursday

Date Watched: 7/19/2018

Starring: Treat Williams, Digimon Honsou

Plot: A group of heavily armed hijackers board a luxury ocean liner in the South Pacific Ocean to loot it, only to do battle with a series of large-sized, tentacled, man-eating sea creatures who have taken over the ship first.

Rules

• “Jezebel” or “Hercules”
• “Argonautica”
• Tentacle Attack
• Jump scares (real or empty)
• Askew camera angles (advanced rule, discretionary)
• Obvious green screen scene

Quotes

• “What you got there?”  –  “Peanut.”  –  “Peanut”?
• “I think she broke my nose.”  –  “Give me a chance and I’ll break the rest of your face, not that anybody would notice.”  –  “What is this about?”
• “Who gives a shit what they are?  Just tell us how to kill these motherfuckers.”
• “You mean I can have anything I want?  How about a cold beer?”
• “I don’t mean to sound like a pussy, but this shit is starting to freak me out, man!”
• “Can you just…get…asthma, or do you have to be born with it?”

Viewer Quotes

• “No good quotes, just bad dialogue.”
• “This soundtrack is like something you’d find on a casio keyboard.”
• “This is good late 90’s gore.”
• “This guy is probably going to turn into a tentacle.  He’s been a tentacle this whole time.”
• “To a creature this size, a human being is like a piece of popcorn.  Why spend all this effort for a few kernels of popcorn?”
• “The only way to slow ’em down is to feed ’em.”  –  “What do we feed ’em?  All I got is a wet stick of gum and a breath mint.”

Things We Learned

• Mercenaries run across table tops when clearing a room
• Very large octopuses have mouths at the end of their tentacles.  Mouths within mouths.  Also the tentacles can see.
• A room full of dead bodies is also full of screams.
• Man is the real monster.

Final Take: Pretty good, better than expected.  Some good sequences.  Djimon Hounsou had a great follow-up effort after his academy award winning role in Amistad.