Bad Movie Thursday

Date Watched: 4/23/15

Starring: ??????

Plot: Timid, video game-loving DJ Santiago seemingly digs his own grave when he agrees to bring a violent criminal kingpin the head of Machine Gun Woman.

Rules

• Gratuitous ridiculousness (Sex or violence)
• Stupid 70’s music
• Decapitations
• “Machine Gun Woman”
• Showing a person’s bounty
• Grand Theft Auto stuff

Quotes

• “This little bag of farts says he’ll bring in the most blood-thirsty woman in the continent?”
• “Fucking straws all clogged up.  To enjoy it you’ve gotta suck hard, and I don’t like sucking.”
• “Pretty boy like you.  Your balls could get cut off, you know.  Do you want that?”
• “What did this mare do to piss you off so much?”
• “Please don’t kill me… I’m a good boy.”
• “I could go away with you and your mom, but you’ll have to get used to my habits, and my temper.”

Viewer Quotes

• “He’s literally wearing a Michael Jackson Thriller jacket.  That’s amazing.  And this guy’s wearing a Tom Brady jersey half shirt.”
• “I can’t take the name Chase Sausage seriously.”

Things We Learned

• In Chile, they bury 10 feet under.
• You need a license to buy a gun in Chile
• Sexy Chilean killers have C-section scars
• Taking a bullet out will magically cure someone of their wound

Final Take

First of all, watch this movie dubbed.  Brings the ridiculous factor up about 12 points.  I’m pretty sure everyone I know is qualified to do some english-dubbed voice acting, and I’m determined to add that to my resume somehow.  All in all this was a decent watch.  It was entertaining, and it was over before you really had a chance to start getting bored of it.  There was some gratuitous violence and some nudity, it went out of its way to parody Grand Theft Auto on many occasions, and it was done in Grindhouse style.  All that said, it was definitely less than the sum of those parts.  I’d probably give it solid C+/B-.