30
Aug
13

Blood Rave / Trance

 trance-art

Viewing Date: 8/29/2013

Starring: Dominique Swain, Jeremy London, Madeline Zima (from Californication), Brea Grant (from Heroes)

Plot:  Sexy girls at a rave turn into bloodthirsty killers after taking a mysterious new drug. (from IMDB)

Rules:

  • Eyes change
  • Ravers take drugs
  • Rave interludes
  • Glowsticks
  • People getting killed

Quotes:

“What are you doing”  “I’m going to play Scrabble.”

“This is where the rich VIP are.” (as they walk through a disgusting alleyway)

“Where is everyone?” “The night is yet a screaming infant!”

“Are you like 100 thousand percent sure and positive?”

“My favorite sound?  The sound of glass on bone.”

Viewer Quotes:

 “Say something funny.  We need some viewer quotes.”  “I can’t.  There’s nothing worth talking about going on in this movie.”

“This reminds me of the time I took E in Scotland”

“‘You talk too fucking much?’ That sounds like Shelly on our first date.”

“Do you think they paid Jeremy London in money or buffett coupons?”

What We Learned:

  • Women can be weaponized (I guess we already knew this)
  • The government creates chemical weapons in the form of breath strips that not only turn the user into a murderous psychopath, but also gives superhuman strength
  • Only losers who won’t be missed by anyone go to raves (I guess we already knew this too)
  • Jeremy London has put on some serious lbs since Party of Five
  • The goverment sponsors potentially high profile chemical attacks on American teenagers 
  • If you make out with two women going by the names of ‘Sin’ and ‘Virtue’ for a long period of time, realize that eventually they are going to eat your penis
  • Movies that have multiple titles = terrible, terrible films.  Avoid at all costs.

Final Take:

Not recommended.  This movie started out very slowly and walked the line of us turning it off the whole time.  Some late gore and almost-recognizable actors attempted to redeem it, but no luck.  As mentioned in ‘what we learned’, if we can’t even find the movie on IMDB because they have retitled it, it’s probably for a reason (the producers are trying to cover their tracks).

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