Bad Movie Thursday

Viewing Date: 7/18/2013

Starring: Ian Ziering, Tara Reid

Plot

When a freak hurricane swamps Los Angeles, nature’s deadliest killer rules sea, land, and air as thousands of sharks terrorize the waterlogged populace (from IMDB.com).

Rules

• People getting killed by sharks
• Shark cam (house rule of “creature vision” applies, this is only a reminder)
• Shark fin
• Footage of a real shark is used
• References to Jaws (drink 2)
• Aussie guy says any stereotypical Aussie stuff (g’day, krikey, etc)

Quotes

“Sharks don’t like vegemite”

“It’s like Old Faithful!”  “We’ll need faith to get through that!!’

“Hey, I fell off a slide when I was two.  Hurt like hell….”

Viewer Quotes

“Hey baby, I’m a Chippendales dancer!”

“He’s all ‘Johnny Manziel’d’.”

“How many sharks does it take to eat a drunk guy?”

“Her (Tara Reid) face looks like a shiny piece of plastic.”

“It’s a sharter spout.”

“Scorpion avalanche!”

What We Learned

• Sharks can flood houses and eventually make them explode
• Sharks can travel through drains and sewers- really they can appear out of nowhere.
• Sharks can climb ropes
• Movie car rental places stay open during the worst storm in California’s history.  These rental cars have real nitro boosters included!
• You can survive in a shark’s stomach for an extended amount of time.
• It takes a propane bomb and a helicopter to kill a sharknado
• Sharks have the accuracy of a tomahawk missile when airborne and always fly teeth-first.

Final Take

We actually watched a few minutes of Sharknado during the world premier on SyFy, but had no idea that it would become the big deal that it did, so we had to schedule the next Thursday for a viewing.  Did Sharknado live up to all the expectations?  Did it deserve all the press? Yes and no. This movie did truly hit a homerun as far as casting, and overall absurdity. It really had everything that we love here on BMT: washed up actors, horrible dialogue, bad special effects… So what’s not to like. Maybe it’s just me personally, but I can smell a SyFy Channel movie a mile a way, and even though this might be the cream of the crop, it still is a little off-putting. Something about the video quality, pacing, and how the CGI is cut into the scenes with the actors… But somehow it doesn’t completely feel like a real movie for me- more like a tv mini series or a Stargate spinoff.
Once past the SyFy hang-ups, this movie was quite entertaining, and had us laughing and engaged the whole time, so it was a win overall. Most of our enjoyment came from trying to come up with a movie to match the absurdity of Sharknado (how many viewers out there did the same?). We settled on “Scorpion Avalanche”- maybe “Scorp-valanche”. We had it casted, the plot set and how the climax was going to play out. I don’t know if any of us remember the details, but still no stealing this idea.