21
Jun
13

Steel and Lace

2236404064_steel_and_lace_1991

Viewing Date: 6/20/2013

Plot:  A woman who is the victim of a rape and subsequent cover-up commits suicide and is rebuilt by her brother to be a vengeful cyborg.  She / it systematically kills everyone that was involved in the crime in brutal fashion.

Starring: No one

Rules:

  • Helicopter Decapitation (one of the ‘Impact Elements’)
  • Getting Drilling (one of the ‘Impact Elements’)
  • Mullets
  • Bolo ties
  • Say “Danny”
  • Blatantly 80’s stuff (use your best judgement)
  • Say “Clippy”

Quotes:

“Down boy”

“You broke your nose once.”   “Does that disqualify me or something?”

“I don’t have to take this shit from a ghost.”

“Death is the last safe place.”

Viewer Quotes:

“They’re all corrupt.”  “Because it’s the 80’s.”

“I’ve never seen Chris Rock dressed as a woman like that before.”

“She’s a robot that doesn’t want to kill.”  “She wants to love.”

“A giant wrench.  How convenient.”

What We Learned:

  • When the law fails you, turn your sister into a killing machine- literally.
  • Lawyers are really good at cybernetics when driven to the edge- and beyond….
  • Memories can be stored in glowing tennis ball brain devices.
  • Cyborgs can perfectly adapt to human interactions except when they aren’t in disguise.
  • When movies don’t have pictures on IMDB, it is a pretty good indicator of the crappiness of the movie.

Final Take:

Not too bad for an 80’s (or 1990, technically) cyborg revenge movie.  It was about an hour too long, however and the time in between the action was grueling, but the good scenes were laugh-inducingly entertaining.  Middle of the road BMT flick, just don’t watch it when you’re tired, or you’ll never make it to the good parts.

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