Date watched:
12/27/12
Summary:
The Mutant Killer Snowman returns to kill more people during Christmas.
Starring:
No one
Rules:
Puns
Carrot stick rapings x2
Say “Jack Frost”
Random shots w/ snowmen in them (posters, miniature snowmen, etc)
People Die
Say “Captain Fun”
Quotes:
Q: “How did you stop the mutant killer snowman?” A: “With antifreeze.”
“Has the grump monster stolen your happy dust?”
“There’s something that needs a little Christmas stuffing.”
“Nice scarf, beautiful.”
“I guess not too many people believe in killer snowmen.”
“Captain Fun has a plan.”
“Cowatunga Baby!”
“I now pronounce you, totally fuckin’ dead!”
Viewer Quotes:
“Look the Village People are here. Why are they all wearing these costumes?”
“Somehow that camera turned into a Polaroid.”
“Being hit in the face with a big wooden oar? He’s probably fine.”
Worst viewer question ever: “If she’s already wearing a swim suit, why does she need to take it all off to get in the pool?”
“That snowball knocked his arm off!?”
“Good thing they have a shit ton of these bananas.”
Things I learned:
You use charcoal for beach bonfires, and you can find more walking around the beach looking for it lying around.
A murderous frozen snowman can take any form – a carrot, water, an ice anvil, ice cycles, a snow globe, etc.
Humans and snowmen can cross DNA.
Snowmen give birth to snow balls that are inherently evil.
Bananas can kill snow creatures, but only if the person they cross DNA with are allergic to them.
Snowmen can blow up heads when injested.
Final take:
This movie sucked, but in a good way. If you are looking for a shitty holiday movie, then look no further.
This was a good one, but not consistently entertaining throughout. The rule for carrot stick rapings never came up, unfortunately, which will leave a bad taste in the mouth of fans of the first Jack Frost.
Here’s a note to the director: don’t kill off the eye candy so early!