Bad Movie Thursday

Viewing Date: April 28, 2022

Starring: Reb Brown

Plot: In the Vietnam war, an American soldier survives a botched mission, with help from a group of locals who perceive him as a hero. He’s sent back for a reconnaissance mission, only to find his helpers massacred by a brutal Russian soldier.

Rules

• Explosions (reminder: house rule, but there are a lot)
• Ramboisms
• “Ransom”
• Father Francois takes a drink
• Abrupt scene transitions

Quotes

• “Disneyland. They’ve got popcorn and ice cream growing on trees.”
• “I tried to resist. I just can’t stand physical pain. I never could. Like going to the dentist.”
• “Jesus! You scared the shit out of me.”
• “How do you say goodbye in Russian? Auf Wiedershen.”
• “He works for the KGB, you thickheaded hero.”
• “Where does he keep finding these clusters of grenades?”
• “These Russian dentists make some pretty good dentures.”

Viewer Quotes

• “Every time we see this guy he’s gotten even sweatier.”
• “Apparently he got all these villagers killed. He must not be their savior.”
• “What the fuck is this popcorn on trees shit!”
• “Every namsploitation movie needs a revenge tour. Now he can kill with no remorse.”
• “We need a line graph of sweatiness vs evil in this movie.”

What We Learned

• The best way to command a mission is in the field, 50 yards from the operation.
• Americans are saviors because they will kill your enemies for you, no questions asked.
• You know someone is dead when their sandals fall off of their feet.
• Grenades can sometimes have a timed fuse, when it suits.

Final Take

This was basically just a Rambo fever-dream. The scene transitions were difficult to follow. The plot made no sense, and pretty much all the supporting characters were killed after a few minutes of screen time. I’m still not sure why any of it even happened. But it was marginally enjoyable and I probably will watch the sequel.