07
May
21

Virtual Combat

Date Watched: 5/6/2021

Starring: Don “The Dragon” Wilson

Plot: Scientist brings virtual reality characters to life. Two are women from the cybersex game site. The third is a warrior who wants to unleash the rest of the bad guys from the virtual reality underworld. A border cop must defeat the virtual reality warrior while learning to relate to one of the cybersex babes.

Rules

  • Computer Voice
  • Computer lingo that doesn’t make sense
  • Using the stupid flip phone.
  • Dante kills someone

Quotes

  • “I’m in training for the tight-ass olympics.”

Viewer Quotes

  • “Let’s make a phone out of a travel battleship game!”
  • “Is ‘back to life’ the right terminology? They’ve never been alive.”

Things We Learned

  • The ground floor of Excalibur is a cybersex hub.
  • “Software robbers” are totally ripped gangsters instead of just nerds living in their mom’s basements.
  • In the future, a taser is actually a laser.
  • You can create a physical copy of a program by copying it from MD-Rom to disc.
  • You can’t beat a computer at a computer game.
  • 500 PSI will kill a-lifers.

Final Take: A pretty poor copy of Virtuosity, and a shameless cash-in on the weird virtual reality craze of the time. This film has not aged very well, now that we’re living in the times they were projecting for us. The plot is hard to follow, the action is slow and poorly choreographed, and there’s probably not quite enough T & A to justify the rating. It’s entertaining as long as you’re drinking beers with friends, but will likely fade from memory as soon as the credits roll past.


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