06
Jul
13

Condorman (1981)

condormanDate Viewed:  6/27/13

Plot:  Cartoonist Woody becomes the superhero he draws. Using his gadgets he helps a Soviet spy defect to the West.  (From IMDB)

Starring:  The Dad from “Teen Wolf”

Rules:

  • Bad Animation
  • Taking off flying/crashing
  • Slapstick comedy
  • 80’s Jheri Curl hair
  • Say “Condorman”
  • Flipping up motorcycle helmet mask

Quotes:

“Donald Duck is not a real duck, he’s a drawing.”

“Oh C’mon Woody… a little cloak, a little dagger.”

“That’s a hair trigger.  Fastest cane in the West.”

“Remember, any more trouble from you, and I will personally kill you.”

Viewer Quotes:

“Beer spilled once shame on you, beer spilled twice shame on me.”

“What an elaborately terrible plot.”

“I was hoping they’d have a laser gun in this movie.”

What we learned from this movie:

The Russians can demand that we use civilians for missions, and we will comply using a guy who draws comic books.  After the mission, the civilian can make the CIA build him silly contraptions based on designs from his comic books.

People who act in the theater make terrible movie actors.  Especially those with awful horse teeth who overact.

Final Take:

I don’t care what anyone else says, I still like this movie.  The scene where Condorman busts his race car out of the gypsy truck and battles the evil black Porsches is totally timeless.  He’s like James Bond, Jason Bourne, and Spiderman rolled into one.  Ok, ok.  The main actor is terrible, I’ll give you that.  I’m not sure what Guttenberg or Swayze was doing that day, but some other 80’s actor should have stepped in here.

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