Bad Movie Thursday

Viewing Date: 9/12/24

Starring: Nobody you’ll have ever heard of

Plot

A young man, armed with a magical bow and arrows, embarks on a mystical journey through a mystical land to rid it of all evil and joins forces with an outlaw to take down an evil witch bent on claiming the magic bow for evil. (via IMDB)

Rules

• The bow
• Surreal Music
• Stuff on the camera lens
• “Ocron”

Quotes

• “Is that the your woman?” “She is. Every time I pass through I take her, but you can have her too, if you’d like.”

Viewer Quotes

• “What the hell?”
• “That took me to a whole different place than I was expecting.”
• “Jesus, what are we in for?”
• “Is that a vision, or did that actually happen? Some kind of drug-induced laser bow.”
• “Does this guy have a penis drawn on his forehead?”
• “Was that guy they just killed even a bad guy? Are you just randomly killing peasant dudes?”
• “Don’t bring an axe to a bow fight.”
• “In a land of knives, the man with the bow is king.”
• “Quit showing these pustules bursting!”
• “The splitter gun from contra!”
• “These dolphins are going to have to give him mouth-to-hole.”

What We Learned

• Something about bows and arrows, I think. There’s something there.
• Women in mystical lands don’t wear any tops.
• Zombies can plan an ambush trap together.

Final Take

That was a crazy trip. It was obviously some weirdo’s artistic vision to make this film, but it was pretty hard to make sense of what was happening, not to mention the overall plot. That said, there were some really over-the-top sequences so surprising that I was basically laughing with indignation at everything. It was a pretty rare experience, and as long as you’re in the right mood you can probably get some enjoyment out of it.