Bad Movie Thursday

Viewing Date: 12/5/24

Starring: JCVD, Dennis Rodman, Mickey Rourke

Rules

• JCVD doing the splits
• Basketball references / puns
• Dennis Rodman’s hair color changes
• “Stavros”
• When the Omega watch gives instructions
• Jumping from an explosion

Quotes

• “You’ll be the baddest boy on the block.”
• “Time to get off the bench. Time to play offense!”
• “Oops- air ball!”

What We Learned

• A bathtub, door jamb and a bucket of rocks are all you need for a killer workout
• A plastic bag is somehow a deadly weapon under water
• There are a band of cybermonks in Rome that have been doing research for 500 years
• Don’t use your son as a human shield and then be mad about it when he gets killed

Final Take

Some great action sequences with JCVD and interesting concepts about counter-intelligence and the ‘deep state’, but otherwise a silly plot, bad acting and a lot of mediocrity.

Double Team did capture some of the magic from JCVD’s glory days- the recovery training / escape plan montage in the Colony was a highlight, but otherwise nothing outstanding. The action scenes were especially long with lots of explosions and jumping / diving. There is a particularly odd sequence at the beginning of the movie where Jack Quinn (JCVD) and Stavros (Rourke) and battling it out in the Newborn Unit of a hospital. Not sure if the director thought that that would really raise the stakes of the battle (no adults / personnel / security / police to be found anywhere, just babies), but it was mostly just uncomfortable to watch.

It also felt like there was some kind of back story missing between JCVD and Rourke’s characters. Everything seemed to be personal, but not really explained, other than the involvement of Rourke’s family and their subsequent killing in the beginning of the movie (although Rourke seemed to know it was a trap).

As expected, Rodman is just a sidekick inserted for comic relief. His character is an international arms dealer that only cares for himself, but quickly reveals his heart of gold.

Standard Bad Movie Thursday fare here- you could certainly do worse when looking at the “late career” offerings from JCVD, Seagal, Dolph Lundgren, etc.